Monday, August 1, 2011

Run-On Sentences: A Real-Life Example

We're all familiar with run-on sentences and their easy fixes:

The cat ate the mouse it turned out to be a bomb.

becomes

The cat ate the mouse, but it turned out to be a bomb.

Simple stuff, right? But here's a real-life example from a manuscript I recently edited that's a more common sight—long, convoluted clauses joined together haphazardly.
SNP can also incorporate the actual resources of these different supply chain domains into the supply planning runthese resources can be constrained (i.e. set to finite planning) and can serve to restrict the orders which are created by the supply plan, not only based upon supply planning constraints, but also by these other constraints.
This "sentence" has at least three separate ideas that—although related—would be much easier to follow if they were also separate sentences.
SNP can also incorporate the actual resources of these different supply chain domains into the supply planning run. These resources can be constrained (i.e., set to finite planning) and can serve to restrict orders. The supply plan creates these orders based not only on supply planning constraints, but also by these other constraints.
Notice that I also needed to do a little rewording of the last sentence to make it stand alone. But this doesn't have to be the end of it—now that you have clearer, shorter sentences you can continue manipulating them:
  • Rearrange the ideas in the sentences for greater clarity.
  • Identify and delete unnecessary or excessive phrases and clauses (notice how the last sentence doesn't make that much sense as is).
  • Reconnect sentences appropriately.
When run-on sentences aren't as obvious as the cat example, read the sentence out loud; while your eye may not be able to tell, your ear is much better at detecting when a sentence should end and another should start. Also, not being able to follow the idea easily from beginning to end is a sign that you need to break the sentence down into smaller chunks.

No comments:

Post a Comment